Little lady

Kaylee's been having a great time during the holidays. First we celebrated Christmas with my family, so much fun and I haven't been in town the last 3 Christmases (we were celebrating with Eric's family in PR - which as also wonderful!) so it was like old times. Then for New Year's, Eric's parents are staying here and we'll celebrate their Christmas as a family tomorrow.

Kaylee is of course showing off for all the family and enjoying the attention. It's really fun that she has been more adventurous with food lately and will try more things. Also, she can say so many things and even makes jokes for everyone - it makes for a good get-together! Our little socialite. For my family, she'd come into the room and smile a huge smile at everyone, beaming "HI GUYS!" and then she'd leave the room, look over her shoulder saying "Bye, Guys!" She is picking up new words all the time and sometimes I am shocked I know I didn't teach her it and that I might never even say whatever it is. Recently, she pointed to my "necklace." Also, her newest favorite thing to say is "Okay" and "Not okay." She loves to ask for something and uses "okay" as a way to try to get something or convey excitement. "Mommy, can I have a cookie?" and before I do anything she says with a smile "Okay, okay okay!" Also she reprimands the dogs by saying that what they're doing (even if it's nothing) is "Not Okay-yuh!" (Okay for her is three syllables) She must have learned this at daycare because we don't ever say "Not okay." She also says that they're "Not nice" and we try to explain you only say you have a problem with something if the dogs are doing something bad and have spent more times letting her pet them and talk nice with them. All she knows is this is a sure-fire way to exercise her newfound ability to have authority over someone, since the terrible twos are all about exerting their independence.

Kaylee is quite the little lady. She still enjoys trying on all her shoes and parading around the house. And now she also wants to make sure she has her "Pony Ta-yule" (ponytail) on her head at all times. She cries when we take it out to give her a bath, she's so used to it now. (As you remember, it is necessary because of her hair-twirling habit.) She also loves to try on other people's shoes, and since her grandparents are here has enjoyed stomping around the house in them. Kaylee has also started to want to be able to choose her own clothes, and since that's not really possible or time-efficient I give her two shirts to choose from each day - by far she chooses the green shirts always. This is her new favorite color. She also would love it if I let her try out my make-up and gets very upset that I don't share with her. She likes to take my blush brush and swipe her face. Kaylee is still trying to figure out how to dress herself and loves wrapping herself in my pajamas, ending up with them around her neck for the most part. She loves to carry around a little panda, monkey or baby around and wrap them up in her little washclothes. She tells them "Sh,shh. Nite-Nite." I reach to tell the baby "nite-nite" and she says "No!" and then I say "Oh I forgot you're the Mommy." and she nods at me "Yey-yah." I'm amazed that at this age, she's already showing her gender characteristics so clearly without any prodding on our part at all. She has her share of boy toys and she loves them as well though. She's loving her new train set she got for Christmas. Her "choo, choo Trey-ane."

My little lady is growing up so fast! My goodness...and here comes 2010!

Dancing and Frolicking in her Party Dress

New development: Kaylee is starting to show signs of empathy or caring for others. She has said “bless you” and “thank you” for quite a while now but what I’m seeing now is a deeper realization that we all have feelings. She sees me get hurt (I’m very clumsy as all who are close to me know) and I say “Ouch” she then turns looking very concerned and says, “Mommy, You okay?” If Eric coughs a whole bunch she asks him that and if I just look kind of crabby she’s asked me if I’m okay. So, now we’re realizing just how perceptive she is and how we need to be aware of it.

I’ve been having mini conversations with my Kaylee baby. And so has Eric with her. Today at breakfast she said,
“Mommy, you like that?” gesturing to my breakfast.
I said, “Yes, Kaylee do you like that?” and she responded “Yes, I like it.” “Mommy, can I have more?” “Yes, here’s more” and with a giant smile, her eyes soften gently as she realizes she conversing and being understood.

She seems to be tantruming a bit less as her conversing is increasing and our rule-enforcing /routine has been more obvious to her. A couple times shes hit me and I just give her a look, I say “Don’t do that” and she smiles and nods, “Okay” and starts being a good girl.

Kaylee had a good weekend. We all went to a holiday part Saturday night. She wanted to be with the big girls but they didn’t want to play too much with her. She was amazed by their big Christmas tree and took delight in the attention of all the adults around her. On Sat we went to a 1 year old b-day party. Kaylee was a good girl, sharing the balloons and not doing a tantrum when I told her we had to not play with them anymore. Saturday night she went to her Aunt/Uncle’s to be watched and was fantastic for them. They got a kick out of seeing her “read” to herself and do pseudo yoga on their yoga mat. On Sunday she went shopping with me and my friend, and was very patient with only one little fit after her nap was cut short. What a good girl Kaylee is! We are so blessed! So fun, cute and now…caring.

Holiday Posts about Kaylee

All Holiday-related things about Kaylee

- Kaylee loves to sing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” She can sing some words and it has been known to even calm her out of a tantrum, and saved us from red,teary eyes and boogers during her Holiday portrait sitting. She can also sing some of “Jingle Bells” and “Frosty the snowman.” She loves listening to our holiday Christmas carols CD.
- Kaylee did meet Santa at my holiday work party. Her reaction when asked if she wanted to meet him was to shake her head No furiously. Santa did come over to meet her. He was very nice and played peekaboo from afar with her first, and then gave her a very nice Nutcracker ornament. It’s funny to hear a toddler try to say “Nutcracker.”
- Kaylee helps put her winter jacket on and pronounces the word, “Gacket” sometimes.
- Kaylee loves the snow-men in people’s yard decorations – she exclaims “snowman!” when she sees one and is delighted there are so many around.
- Kaylee can tell you what the ornaments on her own tree at home are.
- Kaylee wants to carry a blanket around everywhere lately. It’s a new thing.
- Kaylee absolutely loves driving around to look at Christmas lights. She says, “Oh, pretty lights!” and “Mommy, a star!” and “Christmas tree.”
- Her favorite color lately is green – she tries to pick out green clothes to wear every day whenever she has the chance.
- Kaylee has been wearing a very cute gingerbread barette above her ponytail, where she can’t reach it and pull it out. It is so amazing to the kids in daycare, they look at her head and try to play with it.
- Kaylee doesn’t want to wear her boots because they aren’t as cute as her rain boots. She would rather wear them. Kaylee has a slight shoe-fetish and loves sessions of trying them all on. She rejoiced today because I let her wear her red patent-leather shoes to daycare with her red outfit. (I brought a back-up for the daycare folks if this wasn’t going to work for activities during the day.)
- Kaylee knows how to say, “Cold…Brrrr!” when we get into the carseat to go somewhere. She wants a blanket on her to keep warm while in the car.
- Yesterday I very carefully pinned all our Christmas cards on our window for display. I heard Eric giggling to himself over by his computer. I went over to see what was funny online. He said, “Take a look at what Kaylee’s up to.” She had taken all the cards down very swiftly, and was playing with them all on the floor. Very happily talking to herself about her new cards.

Update on the sleep routine/Holiday preparations

Sorry I have not posted in a while, I have been on a deadline at work and working a few extra hours so that means also when I've been home, it's crazy too with trying to catch up on things! Hope everybody has had a safe holiday season so far...

Update on Kaylee and how she's been doing at night - I can report that after 4 days of letting her cry after transferring her, she stopped crying(pretty much). What happens is that we still have the bottle (I know- slap on the wrist!) and rock, and after cuddling for about 1-2 minutes we transfer her NO MATTER WHAT! That way she can count on it...her reaction, for the most part, is to allow us (Eric or myself) to cover her with blanket and after about 30 seconds of standing nearby we leave the room. If I leave the room too fast, she cries out in protest. But I no longer sit back down in the chair to wait to leave...so that's improvement. Sometimes the transfer comes with some whining and we worry we'll have to start over again and so we hold our hands on her for a minute or so and that calms her. I can also report that I have successfully moved my one nursing a day to the morning....first step in phasing out the last nursing... hooray! I can also report that last night and the night before - she slept through the night! OH JOY!

For those of you out there who don't want to hear about nursing and pumping - the next paragraph is entirely on that topic so you can skip down if desired...Now she does ask to nurse about 3 times a day and I always say no unless it's at the time when I want to, which I've been consistent with no matter what time we are nursing. Saying no, at first, was accompanied with protests and crying but now sometimes she even laughs when I say no. At first it was after work (but that got in the way of her eating a good dinner), then it was at bedtime (got in the way of her sleeping because she would say to me "nurse" and then say "other side" and then when done with both she would keep trying to get me to do the "other side" over and over nonstop - suffice it to say, that wasn't working) and now I'm hoping that with the morning routine sometimes having to be real quick that we'll just forget or forego the nursing one of these days. I'm not sure what my body will do but that's a whole other story...I don't want to get engorged again like we did at 1 year with the sudden need to stop nursing - OUCH! Slow weaning is the (best, most pain-free) way to go all you mamas out there. And I don't know if anybody's with me, but I hate the pump. It's got it's purpose but I don't want to break it out again - had enough of that thing and haven't had to use it since she transitioned to soy milk during the day at 1 year - good riddance! Pump breaks I think are hard for most people to fit in, but at my job I found that I really couldn't count on a certain time of day consistently when I had a lot of client meetings or a lot of deadlines which was the case many days. Memories return of pumping in the hospital bathroom where we conducted our meetings - let me just say you worry about not only the way it sounds to people nearby but the sanitary conditions of the act! I am always so glad when designing a building, they integrate lactation rooms into their program and have had the honor of designing a few of them. In one case I was asked to design my dream lactation room, so I put in a counter with built-in sink, undercounter refrigerator, a flat-screen TV, phone, art over the counter, lamp, dimmable lights and internet connections. As to be expected, it was value-engineered (costs were cute). Glad that era for me is over and done with. Not looking forward to doing it again, but I will do it for another entire year or more (if cross your fingers, I conceive again) if I have to in order to have the nursing relationship - I think it really was great for both of us!

Now onto the next battle du jour. Kaylee has been having lots of tantrums in the evening. As you all have followed she has been having terrible twos very early, but this is on a whole new level! So, we are on a path of ignoring all tantruming during the evening. We think that Kaylee thinks that the way to get her Mom to do things is to cry and if she doesn't get what she wants, she will keep up until she reaches a full-fledged tantrum (kicking and screaming on the floor). Eric says that when I'm not there she doesn't do it. It is very difficult for me to not respond when she cries, but like I said this has gotten out of control and very unpleasant for all of us. She also has a lot of stamina and will go on and on, doesn't make you want to be around her after work which is a first time ever! So, I have started totally ignoring it. The best method is to do chores while she's doing it. She feels a little less slighted because it's slightly a distraction from what she's doing and my blood pressure doesn't rise quite as much as just sitting there watching her do it. I'm not sure if her daycare pickup routine change has anything to do with it or not.... I think she is upset with me and wants more attention from me, but approaches getting the attention in a way that we just can't handle, continue responding to. ....last night I did the ignoring and she tantrumed the whole time I did dishes and prepared dinner (about 1/2 hour) and then when dinner happened there was no crying at all. The whole rest of the evening we played very closely together and had a a great time. She and I practiced putting barrettes in her hair, doing "mommy turn" and then "my turn," then sang songs, played blocks and had a bathtime with lots of laughter and smiles. I put her down easily and went to bed very happy. So, if that's the way it's going to be - have tantrum,/burn off steam/think to herself "hey guess it's not working"/move onto something different -- that would be lovely!

As you all know, I no longer post Kaylee's new words because there are too many to count and now she's stringing them together. One of the things that is Eric's pride and joy that I'm not sure if I mentioned here (she's done this for a couple months) - he taught her how to watch a football game together. When she sees there's a football game on, she runs into the room saying "Football!" and then raises her arms in the air and says, "Touchdown!" As you can imagine, Eric beams from ear to ear when this happens. I am not a football fan but that sort of bond/cuteness may just convince me to become a fan.

Kaylee is starting to know some shapes - she knows circle and triangle and sometimes she knows a heart. We stand together at our little Christmas tree and talk about the ornaments. She loves her special school bus ornament we got her. Eric didn't know that I'd been going over them all with her, and was surprised when he was looking at it with her, that she pointed out an ornament that was a figure with "coach" across it's belly. She called it, "Coach." Eric thought for a split second - "What? ...Dude! Can she read?" and then realized she had them memorized. Speaking of memorization, she still has some sequencing memorized - it's pretty amazing - she'll just start singing "A B C D ....trail off....Q R S T......trail off....W X Y Z" Also she can sequence some numbers "1 2 3 4....trail off... 6 7 8 9 10" Eric and I were talking in the car together the other day and mentioned "5" in our conversation and from the backseat we hear a little voice add, "6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" It's amazing! She will have an orange cup and a green cup. Raise up the orange cup and say "green cup" very proudly, when I correct her "orange cup" she looks unphased and smiles like of course and says "yep, orange cup!" Very very cute.

Kaylee has been putting giant snarls in her hair from hair twirling lately. So we've started sometimes putting her hair in a ponytail in a baby hair band. It's adorable. She looks so beautiful and grown up. Now that ponytail may make it two minutes or two hours there's no telling. She still will not wear barrettes, they won't stay in her fine hair, but loves to try them on.

We took Kaylee to one of the holiday parties a partner at our firm puts on each year. She was soooooo cute playing with a little 2 1/2 year old of my co-workers. They were dancing, jumping (Kaylee with still only one foot off the groud) and also laying on the floor kicking their feet and spinning around (weird, but actually cute too). I hadn't ever seen her do so much it appears she's capable of more than parallel play for sure. She thought the girl's name was Kayla (because all the best friends are Kayla - aren't they?) and called her that. I told her no, the girl was Sammy and she kept saying Sammy this and Sammy that all through the next morning.

I dressed Kaylee up really cute for the holiday party and then -opps- forgot to take a photo. So I hope to take one this weekend in it so I can post it. It is very hard getting anything done for the holidays - like gift-buying (still haven't started) with the deadline at work and the busyness at home when I am at home- not sure what I'm going to do I am so behind. Maybe I'll make some headway this weekend? Hope ya'll are doing better at getting to your holiday preparations!

Report on Night #3

Just wanted to let y'all know how the cry-it-out is going...well I think I have sort of broken some rules and approached this in a kind of hybrid between cry-it-out and the sleep separation technique. The first 5-10 minutes I let her cry, then go in and change diaper/give bottle (I know, first rule broken!) then as soon as I decide she's ready for a transfer to the crib after some cuddles I put her in there, and she protests very much to this. Since she's used to be transferred pretty much while she's konked out. I'm just getting so sick of the transfer-cry-pickup-cuddle-transfer-cry-pickup-cuddle routine that I need to teach Kaylee to do the soothing herself now. So I sit next to her in the rocking chair and won't pick her up again after that. I do encourage her to sit down which she doesn't want to do and cuddle with her blanket. I give her hugs after her standing there screaming a few minutes. She calms, we hug, then I try to lay her down. Then she might cry furiously again, and I'll let her cry and then in a few give the standing hug again. Then lay her down still awake and eventually she caves in, cuddles into her blanket and goes to sleep. The sleep routine has been cut down from 2 hours to about 1/2 hour now. What a relief. But what's happening is my body doesn't know what to do now. I am not used to going back to sleep so fast and last night, I laid awake for a long time afterwards. Not really sure if it's biological or if it's guilt...I'll get over it and adjust I'm sure.

In this process, I am pursuing being very consistent. I wish I wasn't giving her the bottle and guess I know how much I'm breaking the rules with this, my only explanation is that I'm trying not to change everything at once for Kaylee. Though integrating the changes together may have made some sense...I'm obviously hoping she'll decide all the screaming and crying isn't worth the effort to wake up anymore at all.

We are getting very good reports from daycare the past 3 days that she's taking longer naps and eating more at lunch! Hooray!

Kaylee had a fun night last night, I had to work late so we met at Rosedale and had dinner at Panera (her favorite, bagels and apples). She was in love with the little girls next to our table and made eyes at them the whole meal. When they left, she asked "Where'd they go?" She was so excited to put on a show for those around her, she danced near our table and jumped (with one foot off the ground only - still can't master jumping yet) and then straight onto her fanny followed with a giant laugh. And then we went to the play area and she played for a long time. Then back home to take a bath and go to bed. Very nice night.

Crying it out!

Well, we finally decided we had exhausted all our resources, including ourselves and were ready to do the cry-it-out with Kaylee. This past month her routine has resorted to crazy waking, staying up for 2 hours or more. She wants to play and be with us. We discussed how upset Kaylee gets when we transfer her and put her down at night with her doctor, and she said even if she throws up, it’s still okay to do and she was very encouraging for us to do it. She said consistency is extremely important and once we do it we can’t go back. She said we need to do it now, that it will only get even more difficult as we go on especially when she gets transferred to her own crib – then she will always be depending on us and coming in our room.

Eric and I deliberated a lot on how to approach it, what our “rules” would be and when to do it. Our doctor said that the longest a baby ever cried was 13 days and knowing Kaylee’s temperament (how stubborn we know she is) I thought that could be us. So, we decided to not wait until we get closer to the weekend. It was a difficult decision but we tried everything else. So, last night when she woke up at midnight we let her cry 10 minutes, we comforted for 5, she cried 10, she threw up, we cleaned her up and comforted and then put her back in and she cried another couple mins. Eric said maybe I should sit next to her, when I did she looked at me, said “Okay” and then sat down in the crib. I said “Nite-nite, honey” and she sat there for a few minutes, then she laid down and in another few minutes I heard her breathing deep. Not bad – close to 30-40 minute effort as opposed to our nightly 2 hour efforts lately.

She woke up one other time, but whined a little and went back to sleep. I had to wake her up this morning to take her to day care, and she had had a bloody nose and we don’t know when it happened. It was dry so I guess she had it when she woke up that other time. I felt very bad for her for everything, very guilty and like a bad mom. I just have to lean on the doctor’s words and take stock in that Kaylee has had a number of rules put into place for her lately that have gone over very well and have been a success. So when we need to call the shots we have a good track record so far. I have to take stock in that what’s hard today will be easier tomorrow and especially when we are all sleeping through the night a couple weeks from now. We have to be strong, and the doctor put it to me in a way I could handle saying “this is what’s good for Kaylee – she needs the sleep, she needs the life skill of self-soothing for sleep.”

All in all, I guess I was anticipating there would even be more loud, violent, longer crying than there was. At times she would try to use her words to get our attention, saying, “Boogie… Boogie” over and over again (boogers) or “Blanky….Blanky” or “Daddy….Daddy.” We were impressed with this instead of the crying and would pop in to say something briefly to her when she did this to encourage her calm behavior – but we quickly realized this didn’t help things and popping in made her even more mad. So we stopped that quickly. The good news is she is trying to self-soothe a bit already. Wish us luck on this journey. It is hard one but I think we will all be better having gone through it.

Typically during transitions like this Kaylee can be kind of hard on me, getting mad at me and favoring her Daddy. She will kind of ignore me, that’s her punishment. I guess I can just be glad she had a father who’s so fun/supportive/available. She’ll come around – she has those other times. No one has to be concerned about her expressing herself – that child has quite the perserverance, personality and strength of character!

I am also hoping that this story may be helpful to another parent. We tried this half-heartedly with Kaylee a couple other times earlier and if I could go back and do it right, I would. The kids get way more insistent, loud-crying and more powerful screaming! Just nip it in the bud and find the strength if you can - hindsight is 20-20. Follow along with our journey, I'll post on what happens as we go ...